The Psychology of Change

This morning, something interesting happened just before I set out for a walk with my 2-year-old son.

His friend offered him a bright blue lollipop—a treat that would have tempted any child. But instead of grabbing the sugary candy, my son reached for an apple.

I didn’t prompt him, didn’t say a word. He made the choice himself.

As we walked through the forest, the cool autumn air wrapped around us.

The smell of damp earth and freshly fallen leaves filled my lungs, and I listened to the soft crunch of our footsteps on the ground. In the quiet of the forest, I found myself reflecting on my son’s choice.

Why did he choose the apple over the lollipop?

And how often, as adults, do we still reach for the blue lollipop—something quick, easy, and satisfying in the moment, but ultimately not what we need?

I’ve been thinking about this all week, especially after a session with one of my patients. This patient really wants to be better—healthier, happier, more in control of their life.

But every time we talk about making changes, I see the hesitation. It’s not a lack of motivation or desire. It’s fear.

Fear of stepping into something unfamiliar.

Fear of discomfort.

Fear of letting go of old habits, even when those habits are part of the problem.

And here’s the thing: many of us feel this way. We want to improve, but we resist change.

Change feels hard. It feels inconvenient. It’s much easier to reach for the mental equivalent of the blue lollipop—to stick to what’s familiar, even when we know it’s not serving us.

Resistance to Change Is Normal

As a psychiatrist, I see this all the time.

Change can feel daunting. It requires effort and, most importantly, it requires stepping out of our comfort zones.

Our brains are wired to keep us safe, and that often means sticking to what we know. The routines, the habits, the things that feel predictable.

But here’s the paradox: true growth only happens when we embrace discomfort. Real change happens when we push past that initial resistance.

Take my walk in the forest this morning. The air was crisp, the smell of pine needles and damp leaves filled the air, and my son walked beside me, exploring his surroundings with innocent curiosity.

As I watched him, it hit me: change doesn’t have to be something we fear. It can be something we embrace with the same curiosity my son had while exploring the forest.

Just like the seasons change, shedding old leaves to make room for new growth, we too can let go of old patterns and make space for something better.

What’s Your “Blue Lollipop”?

So, what’s your blue lollipop?

What are the easy, comforting choices you’re making that might be holding you back from reaching your full potential?

Is it reaching for unhealthy food because it’s convenient?

Avoiding exercise because it feels too hard?

Maybe it’s the daily habits that keep you stuck in a loop, wishing for change but avoiding the effort it takes to make it happen.

And just like my patient, maybe you know deep down what needs to change, but you’re resistant. You feel stuck in a cycle of wanting better but not knowing how to take the first step.

Start Small

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to overhaul everything overnight. Change doesn’t happen in one big leap—it happens in small, consistent steps.

Just like my son chose the apple over the blue lollipop, you can start by making one small choice today that benefits your well-being.

Maybe it’s taking a walk after work instead of sitting in front of the TV.

Maybe it’s cooking a healthy meal instead of ordering takeout.

Or perhaps it’s as simple as taking five minutes to breathe deeply and center yourself before diving into your daily tasks.

Each small step you take is a victory. It’s progress.

And here’s something important to remember: your brain is incredibly adaptable. It’s called neuroplasticity. This means that even if you’ve been stuck in a cycle of unhealthy habits for years, your brain can change.

You can create new neural pathways that support healthier, more fulfilling habits. But it takes time, patience, and a willingness to push past discomfort.

Embrace Curiosity

Think back to my walk through the forest. The trees were shedding their leaves, preparing for the next season. My son was discovering new sights and sounds, completely immersed in the moment.

Change was happening all around us, naturally and effortlessly.

What if you approached your life with the same curiosity?

What if, instead of fearing change, you embraced it as part of your growth?

What if you saw each small choice as an opportunity to nourish yourself, just like my son chose the apple?

The blue lollipop may be tempting in the moment, but long-term growth and well-being come from consistently choosing the apple.

The walk in nature.

The healthy meal.

The moment of mindfulness.

The Power of Small Choices

If you’re reading this, I know you want to improve your life. Maybe you’ve been thinking about making changes but haven’t taken that first step.

I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to start small.

Real transformation doesn’t come from drastic, unsustainable efforts. It comes from making better choices, day by day, step by step.

So, what’s one small choice you can make today?

What’s one thing you can do to support your physical and mental well-being?

Change doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It can be as simple as choosing the apple over the lollipop, just like my son did.

And over time, those small choices will add up. You’ll start to see and feel the difference. You’ll realize that growth isn’t something to fear—it’s something to embrace with curiosity and confidence.

Warmly,

Florina