This winter, I made a promise to myself. I wasn’t going anywhere. Three weeks at home—just me, my family, and the quiet comfort of familiar surroundings. No airports. No packing. Just stillness.
But life has a way of steering us to where we need to be.
Two weeks later, I was walking along a beach in Tenerife, the sun warm on my skin, the waves rolling softly at my feet. My little boy ran ahead, giggling as he stomped tiny footprints in the sand. The air smelled of salt and freedom, and I felt… alive.
Nearby, another mother sat on a blanket, her son digging enthusiastically beside her. His laughter mingled with my boy’s, and soon enough, the two of them were playing together, their little hands busy building castles and smashing them just as quickly.
I caught her eye, and we exchanged that knowing smile only parents of toddlers truly understand. A smile that says, Yes, I’m tired, but look at them. Look at this moment.
“Your little one’s got some serious energy,” I said, settling on the sand near her.
“Oh, he never stops,” she laughed. “But honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
Mia’s Story: Feeding the Void
Her name was Mia. She was from Germany, on a much-needed escape from what she called “the chaos of life.” At first, we talked about small things—travel, kids, the weather. But as the boys dug deeper into the sand, so did we.
Her voice softened as she shared bits of her story. A painful divorce last year had left her feeling unmoored. “I feel like I’m barely getting through each day,” she said, her voice trembling slightly. “There are days I wake up exhausted before the day even begins. I just… feel empty.”
Her shoulders slumped as she looked at her son playing happily. “I’m trying so hard to be strong for him. But most of the time, I feel like I’m failing.”
I could feel the weight of her words, the heaviness she carried alone.
“Do you think you might be depressed?” she asked hesitantly, as if afraid of the answer. “Sometimes I wonder if I need medication to fix this.”
Choice or Circumstance?
I paused before answering. “Mia, let me ask you something,” I said gently. “What are you eating these days? What do you drink? What’s the first thing you put into your body when you wake up in the morning?”
She seemed startled by the question. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Coffee, mostly. Maybe a croissant if I remember to eat. And then… whatever I can grab for lunch. Usually something quick, like a sandwich or some pasta. Dinner is hit or miss.”
I nodded. “And in the evenings? What do you reach for when the day feels overwhelming?”
Her face reddened slightly. “Wine,” she said quietly. “It helps me unwind. And sometimes chocolate or snacks. Just… whatever makes me feel better in the moment.”
“Mia,” I said, my voice soft but firm, “your body is crying out for nourishment. It’s not just your emotions pulling you down. It’s what you’re feeding yourself—or not feeding yourself. Coffee and wine might give you a temporary boost, but they’re also draining your body of what it needs to function. To heal. To feel alive.”
She looked at me, wide-eyed. “I never thought about it that way,” she whispered.
The Coach Awakens
In that moment, the psychiatrist in me stepped back. This wasn’t about a diagnosis. This was about empowerment. About helping Mia see that she wasn’t powerless.
“Mia, we are what we eat, drink, think, and consume,” I said. “Everything you put into your body sends a message. Food is information for your cells. Coffee, alcohol, sugar—they’re all signals. And when you’re feeding your body things that deplete it, your body can’t keep up. It’s not that you’re failing. It’s that your body doesn’t have the tools it needs to thrive.”
She nodded slowly, the realization sinking in. “So… what do I do?”
“Start small,” I said. “Tomorrow morning, instead of just coffee, have a glass of water first. Add something with color to your breakfast—a piece of fruit, some yogurt with berries. Give your body something real, something it can use.”
Understanding Depression Through Choice
Mia’s question about depression lingered in the air. “Do you think I’m depressed?” she asked again, her voice tinged with both hope and fear.
“Mia, I think you’re exhausted. And I think your choices are feeding that exhaustion. Depression can be complicated, but so often it starts with small, daily habits that pull us down, one choice at a time. And here’s the good news: you can choose differently.”
“But it feels so hard,” she said.
“I know,” I replied. “That’s why you start small. One choice at a time. What you eat matters. What you drink matters. And yes, what you think matters too. Every time you choose to nourish yourself instead of depleting yourself, you’re sending a message to your body: I care about you. I’m here for you. And over time, that message grows louder than the exhaustion.”
The Hidden Cost of Quick Fixes
We also talked about the habits that seem to soothe but actually harm. The wine, the snacks, the scrolling on social media late into the night.
“Mia, these things feel good in the moment, but they’re stealing from your energy bank. They’re taking more than they give. And when your body is already depleted, it can’t afford that.”
She nodded, her gaze fixed on the horizon. “I never thought of it like that,” she said. “I just… wanted to feel better.”
“And you still can,” I said. “But not by numbing. By nourishing. By giving your body and mind what they truly need.”
A Moment of Hope
As the sun dipped lower in the sky, Mia sat up a little straighter. “I think I can do this,” she said, her voice stronger. “Just one thing at a time, right?”
“Exactly,” I said, smiling. “One small choice today, another tomorrow. Over time, those choices add up. And when you start to feel the difference—when you have more energy, more clarity—you’ll see how powerful you really are.”
She stood up, brushing the sand off her legs, and gave me a hug. “Thank you,” she said. “This is the first time in a long time I’ve felt… hopeful.”
As I watched her walk away, her son’s hand in hers, I felt that familiar warmth in my chest. This is why I love what I do. Not just as a psychiatrist, but as someone who believes in the power of small, intentional choices to change lives.
What About You?
Now, let me ask you the same question I asked Mia.
What are you feeding your body today? Is it food that energizes you or drains you?
What are you drinking? Is it water, nourishing and pure? Or is it something that feels good in the moment but leaves you depleted?
What thoughts are you entertaining? Are they kind and supportive, or are they critical and harsh?
Your body and mind are connected. Every choice you make sends a message. What message are you sending yourself today?
A New Year, A New Beginning
As the new year begins, I invite you to make one small, nourishing choice. Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning. Add something fresh and colorful to your plate. Replace ten minutes of scrolling with ten minutes of silence.
These aren’t just habits. They’re messages to yourself. Messages that say, I care about me. I deserve to feel good. I deserve to thrive.
So, what will you choose today? Let’s make this year the year of small, powerful changes. One choice at a time. Together.
Make 2025 your best year yet!
Florina
Get My Blog Posts Right in Your Inbox Every Week
Make your mental health a priority. Receive tips and strategies for living well – mentally, physically, and emotionally – every week.
Get My Free Guide: 7 Cheap, Simple Strategies for Boosting Your Brain Performance
Better focus – clearer memory – faster cognition – more mental clarity – improved intellect…
Your brain is capable of beautiful things. If you don’t think you’re getting the most out of your cranial supercomputer, you can reap the benefits of these 7 simple strategies for the low, low price of “free.”